Flashbacks and Film Scores

Sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like to have a film score playing in the background of my major life events. If this sounds a little crazy, think about it, we pretty much already do.

It’s the nursery rhyme your Mum sang to you before bed, your graduating class song, and the song playing during your father/daughter dance at your wedding. Each song is like a mini film score adding more emotion and meaning in the moments of our lives.  So when we hear these songs again, in a different time in our lives, we can be thrown back into that particular moment, flooded with those same emotions and feelings, sort of like a flashback.

After reading the Gospel, I had one of these film score, flashback moments. The song Feel Again by OneRepublic popped right into my mind.  It’s uncanny how the lyrics of the song fit perfectly as a film score for this encounter with the resurrected Jesus.

To understand why this song fits with the story, let’s start at the beginning of the journey where two disciples of Jesus are on their way to the village Emmaus. They appear to be downtrodden over which we learn is the crucifixion of Jesus.  These disciples were most likely Jewish, which means their hope of Jesus being the messiah fell apart, when he died on the cross. So as they’re walking, suddenly a man, who they don’t recognize, joins them on their journey.

Recreate the scene in your head. Imagine how the disciples are feeling. Jesus, their friend, just died. Whom they think they won’t ever see again. Their hope for him being the messiah was nixed, so now what are they supposed to do. And now in the background imagine the song Feel Again play as the film score in the moment, and these are the lyrics,

“It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face
I've been everywhere and back trying to replace
Everything that I had 'til my feet went numb
Praying like a fool that's been on the run”

And the scene continues, the travelers talk with the “stranger” about the miracles Jesus performed. They talk about their hope that he was the messiah, and yet they seem reluctant about the idea.  Then the “stranger” begins to sort of chastise them for not listening and not believing in the words of the prophets who came before Jesus. And the film score continues,

“Heart's still beating but it's not working
It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring
I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing, my heart is numb”

We are in a new scene, the travelers have made it to the village. They invite the stranger to stay and eat with them. And as they sit there, the “stranger” takes the bread, blesses it, and breaks it.  Here is the moment the travelers realize, who they had been walking with this entire time, “Their eyes were open, and they recognized him”.  It’s like one of those flashback moments I talked about earlier, and now the film score breaks into the songs’ chorus,

“But with you, I feel again, I was a lonely soul, but that’s the old me”.

The travelers feel again. Through their witnessing of Jesus breaking the bread, they remember the teachings of Jesus, and they are changed.  The changed from skeptical travelers into energetic disciples, they are ecstatic to spread the word of the resurrection of Jesus. So of course, they immediately run off to tell the other disciples of the good news.

Unlike those travelers, this is where I come up short. Our eyes are opened, we know the teaching of Jesus, but I don’t always take action.  When life gets busy, complicated, and I feel like I am at the end of my rope, it’s more and more difficult to practice what Jesus preached.

Is there a moment, like the travelers had, which reminds me to keep serving and keep loving others even when I am at my lowest?  It’s the same moment when the travelers’ eyes were opened, in the breaking of the bread.  When we come to together for worship, we represent that very moment, during the Eucharist, at the altar, in the Breaking of the Bread.

Even if it is just for a moment, we are connected back to those early Christians. Just like them, our eyes are opened and we can be rejuvenated with the thought of Jesus and his teachings.  Like the travelers, we are changed, and we are reminded to go out and follow Jesus’ commandments to love and serve others. And it does not matter how we feel called to serve, as long as we do it.  Because we know about the resurrection, we are called to serve and love others, so we can reflect the love of God.

It’s the end of the gospel reading as well as the end of the film score. I imagine the disciples full of excitement, running to tell the other disciples the good news, and in the background the end of the song plays.  But before I say the last line, this film score not only pertains to those travelers, but in our own lives. Perhaps it can throw us back, remind us that we are not who we once were, and that we feel again.

So as the credits begin to scroll the end of the song goes,

“I'm feeling better ever since you’ve known me, A little wiser now from what you've shown me, I feel again, I was a lonely soul but that’s the old me”

Below is a recording of the song, enjoy!

The Soccer Group

Whether we won or lost, we still had a soccer party.

When my siblings and I were about three years old, my parents first signed us up for a youth soccer league. This resulted in every Friday night a group of six to seven families would come together, watch their children play soccer, and afterwards we would have a soccer party.

Over the years, these kids I played soccer with became my closest friends through elementary school and a few still to this day. As the children of the soccer group became close, so did our parents.

A particular family we are friends with today is the Stacks. The Stack family dynamic is best described through their involvement and hilarious talent in theater, which is best explained in Emily Stack’s first goal in soccer. Now, remember we were about 6 or 7 when this happened.

The game was tied, and we needed to score to win. It seemed like there was only 2 minutes left in the final quarter, and Emily was put on offense.  Emily didn’t normally play offense. And I think it’s safe to say that Emily really enjoyed the soccer parties rather than the soccer playing. 
Regardless, Emily was put on offense. She was passed the ball. She kicked it passed the goalie, right into the back of the net scoring the winning goal.

And immediately her hands shot into the air clenched with power, and she threw her head back in celebration. I ran over to congratulate her, and realized she was crying, which I thought was unusual. So I asked her why, and she dramatically replied with tears streaming down her face, she was just so happy.

The entire Stack family was involved in theater. Mr. Stack was particularly hilarious, with a personality to fill the room and beyond. He was always making us laugh by speaking in character voices or making funny faces. Unfortunately, when I was almost 12, soccer ended a while back, Mr. Stack was on a business trip, and died suddenly from a major heart attack.

I don’t remember a lot of details, but I remember the entire soccer group, kids and parents, spent a lot of time together over the course of that week. It seemed as if we were always at either the Stack’s house or the funeral home, and then the funeral service. During the service, the soccer families were sitting close together. I was in a pew with my siblings and parents. Near the end of the service, I looked over at my Mum, and realized she was trembling.

She was crying. I was in disbelief.

All week I had seen her as a pillar of strength trying to help Mrs. Stack and her kids anyway she could, as well as taking care of her own children. At that age, it didn’t even occur to me that my Mum, beneath her strong will of compassion to support others she was experiencing sadness. She too was mourning the loss of her friend.

In joy and in sadness, both coming from completely different experiences, we are known to cry. Crying reveals our inner selves, and is a very human physical response to how and what we feel in our everyday lives.

In the gospel we meet a family who were particularly close to Jesus, and they are mourning. We are introduced to two sisters, Martha and Mary, crying over the loss of their brother Lazarus. Since this family was close to Jesus, they sent him a formal report prior to Lazarus’s death stating, “Lord, he the one you love is ill”. The “one you love” referring to their brother Lazarus. By using this phrase it signifies the deep friendship Jesus and Lazarus had.

Because Jesus was a healer, it was inferred that by sending him that message he would come right away to heal their brother. But Jesus waits two days before traveling there, and by the time Jesus arrives Lazarus has been dead for a total of four days. This is critical to piece to the story. In that time, the Jewish belief was for three days the soul of the departed would hang around the body hoping to reenter it. Which means when Jesus arrives in Bethany, Lazarus is considered really dead, and there would be no way to revive him.

Now both Martha and Mary both greet Jesus using the same words, but both in different fashions. They both say, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” They do not say this out of anger, but in an understanding way.  They don’t blame Jesus for Lazarus’ death because he wasn’t in Bethany prior to Lazarus’s death. Therefore they felt like there wasn’t an opportunity for Lazarus to be healed by Jesus.

Even though Jesus didn’t make it “in time”, Martha assures Jesus she hasn’t lost faith in God or him by saying, “But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him” She said these words to affirm her belief that Jesus did all that he could and still has confidence in him.

Where Martha seemed composed in mourning, based on scripture Mary her sister, was not composed at all. Mary ran to Jesus wailing and crying with more mourners wailing and crying with grief following her. 

Seeing such sorrow and pain on their faces, Jesus does the unexpected. In the scripture it states, “he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved . . . and Jesus began to weep.”

Jesus began to weep.

Like me seeing my mother cry, the disciples were witnessing their own pillar of strength, their teacher, their guide crying over the loss of his friend.

Jesus even knows that he is about to perform a miracle. He is going to resurrect Lazarus, but he cries anyway.

How can this be, our God incarnate crying?

Jesus was crying because he felt the loss of a loved one, a friend of his. He wasn’t crying WITH Martha and Mary, not FOR them. Jesus felt and understood the death of his friend Lazarus just like they did. Christ could have been passive, instead he was able and willing to express the same emotions we feel.

Although completely divine, Jesus shows us the humanity of God through his tears. Through this act, we witness God’s compassion, understanding, and feeling of the devastation of death as we feel it.

We are on the last stretch of our journey from the mountain top to the cross. And week after week we’ve met an individual that revealed to us a part of Christ’s teachings. In which our relationship with God became clearer and grew stronger with every person we met.

And this opportunity doesn’t end with these readings or in Lent, but actually happens every day, if we take the time to look and listen for it.  On our own journeys, through the relationships we have with our friends, family, whoever we encounter daily we have the opportunity to strengthen our relationship with God by reflecting the compassion and love of God to others.

God feels how we feel. God is with us when we are crying in celebration of a goal we make in soccer. And God is there when we are suffering the death of a loved one. God is always with us and feels what we feel.

Finishing our Lenten journey may we pray a phrase given to me by my past youth director, “May you see the face of Christ in everyone you meet, and may everyone you meet may see the face of Christ in you.”

Nicodemus in All of Us

Each of us has a bit of Nicodemus in us, I think.

Nicodemus was a smart guy; a scholar, most likely, and a leader of the Jews. He was a Pharisee, which has an incredibly negative connotation, but the impression that is given is that Nicodemus heard about Jesus, and simply had to see for himself what was going on. The impression that is given is that Nicodemus is yearning for something that he cannot precisely explain.

Nicodemus came to Jesus by night, the Gospel reads, and he was set on asking Jesus questions. Already things are not as clear as they seem. Why did Nicodemus come by night?

There are a few  different interpretations. Many believe that Nicodemus was hiding who he was, that he was ashamed that he was asking questions of this crazy new prophet, Jesus. If that is the case, however, he was singularly unsuccessful, considering people recognized him enough to name him specifically. 

 

Perhaps, as some people believe, Nicodemus was there to spy on Jesus for the Pharisees, as happens in other places in the Bible. This is also unlikely; the language Nicodemus uses is simply not appropriate for a non-believer to use; “We know you are a teacher who comes from God.”

Another interpretation is that Nicodemus wanted to talk to Jesus, and that at night was the only time Nicodemus could get through the crowd. Jesus had just performed his first miracle, the turning of water into wine, and had just driven the money lenders out of the temple. I can’t imagine people not crowding around him and hearing him teach, to hear him speak.

Regardless of the reason, Nicodemus came by night, which in the Gospel of John is not just speaking of the time of day. John’s Gospel starts off with the famous words, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The spirit of God moved over the waters like a wind, creating the world.

 

By the fourth verse of chapter one, John has called Jesus the Light. “The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it,” says John. This is a recurring theme throughout John’s Gospel; that Jesus is the light, and it is possible that every instance of light or of darkness mentioned in this Gospel is intentional and is a reflection of the light of Jesus.

So Nicodemus comes in the night to Jesus. As one in the Darkness, Nicodemus does not understand, is currently unable to understand what Jesus is talking about. After declaring that Jesus must be from God, as “no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God,” Jesus says that no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.

Have you heard the term, born again Christian? I’m sure that you have, and that idea actually comes from this verse. “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” In Greek, the word for from above has two meanings; it can also mean born anew.

 We need to read that passage with both meanings in mind in order to fully appreciate what it is that Jesus is saying.

“No one can see the kingdom of God without being born anew from above.” You can practically hear Nicodemus’s agony as he asks the next question. “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born again?”

Nicodemus is more than a little distressed. I can imagine him being exhausted with his spirituality, finding it stale, searching for answers he is unable to find. When he finally hears about someone who is clearly from God, he CANNOT GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER FROM HIM.

Jesus, our ever more confusing Savior, does little to relieve Nicodemus’s confusion. Jesus says you must be born of water and Spirit; that the wind blows where it chooses, and while we can hear the sound of it, we cannot know where it goes to or where it comes from.  There’s that wind again; the same wind that moved over the waters and formed creation.

 

Nicodemus’s retort is absolutely priceless. “Huh?”

How often are we left just as confused? This world is broken; there is hate and suffering. Why God? Why is there sickness, is there pain, is there hunger, why do we yearn for things that we cannot find, yearn for something we cannot express. why Why WHY?

Very truly, Jesus says, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen. No one has ascended into heaven except the Son of Man who descended from Heaven. No one can understand until we have experienced the Spirit in a way that we cannot here on earth experience it.

Yet there is hope, Jesus says. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.” In fact, Jesus goes on to say, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through the Son.

We do not know if Nicodemus was satisfied by the answers that Jesus gave him. We do know that Nicodemus later defended Jesus in front of the chief priests and other Pharisees, and with Joseph of Arimathea, Nicodemus wrapped Jesus’s body in linen and myrrh after the crucifixion.

Nicodemus knew that his life was missing something, and went to Jesus to see if the answers were there. He certainly got answers, but not necessarily the ones he was looking for.

Nicodemus was frustrated with Jesus. Nicodemus has all of these really solid questions, he found out how to meet up with Jesus, and Jesus won’t give him an answer he can comprehend.

Nicodemus was filled with doubt, but Nicodemus chose to follow Christ anyway, even if everything was confusing and slightly unclear. 

I think there is a little of Nicodemus in all of us.

As I was reading information about Nicodemus, I came across a poem by a gentlemen named Andrew King. I absolutely love it, and I encourage you to read Heart Becoming Morning.

Whoever would be first among you, must be slave to all.

In the diocese of Nebraska, the Lenten challenge is called 20-1-4. 20 minutes of prayer a day, one hour of worship a week, and four hours of service a month. It’s 2014, so it’s not too hard to remember. 20 minutes of prayer a day, one hour of worship a week, four hours of service a month.

praying 20 minutes a day; not that easy for me, but not impossible either. I am able to sit down and pray pretty much every day, and I often (though certainly not always) able to pray for 20 minutes. It’s a great discipline to continue working on.

Worshiping one hour a week. Check. The good news for you is that you are here, on a Wednesday. It is very likely that you do not find this particularily challenging as you have started already. The good news for Tom is that this is a short sermon, and the service won’t last an hour, so I’ll see you all on Sunday, too.  

Serving other people, for four hours a month doesn’t sound like much, but for me, it is by far the hardest to accomplish. I work at church, I work at Miller Park, and I really like my days off. With as much as I have had going on this year at Resurrection House, and here at All Saints, I have really failed in this regard. I do not serve others enough.

The Gospel reading for today is explicit. Whoever would be great among you must be your servant. We are called, while we are here on our Earthly journey, to serve others. To feed the hungry, house the homeless. To do what we can to make other people suffer less.

Serve Others, Jesus says.

At All Saints, we have many opportunities to serve others. The first Sunday of every month, All Saints sends a team to the Sienna/Francis House to literally serve food to the hungry and house people who are homeless. The Dean Fricke Pantry is a partner of All Saints, and they literally feed the hungry. We all have opportunities to serve.

I was in the car the other month, and my friend Caleb was driving. Just as we passed an exit, I noticed that there was a car on the side of the road with what looked like a flat tire, and pointed it out.  Caleb drove for about five miles to the next exit, and turned around on the freeway.

“Don’t you think they will have it fixed by the time we get there? It just looked like a flat,” I asked him.

Well, as we drove to the exit BEFORE where I saw the car, it was still there, and was in fact still there as we finally got there (having driven about fifteen miles at this point).

It turns out that there was nothing that we could do anyway, and ended up just chatting for a bit and then heading on our way. It was a flat and the jack in our car didn’t work on his, and he had someone coming with a proper jack.

As we were driving away, Caleb then told me that it is just like the parable of the vineyard, where two sons are asked to help out and one says yes, and the other no; they then do the opposite of what they said they would do. Which was God pleased with?

If your intentions don’t lead to a change in your actions, is God pleased?

I am aware that I have actively failed to serve others. I do not do enough of what Jesus is explicitly calling me to do. Every week I see the Habitat for Humanity signup sheet in the Narthex, and every week I walk by without signing up. For the last two or three weeks, there have been no names on it at all.

This is Lent; a time of year that people often give something up to improve themselves. I am going to take something on. I will be at the Habitat site this Saturday. In this Lenten season, pray. Worship. And Serve Others.  

What's That On Your Forehead?

There I sat jealous of the other kids, it seemed like all of them had it, but me. No matter where I looked, I could find a forehead with that big black mark. Growing up, this happened every Ash Wednesday, and I wanted to get ashes just like all the other kids. In elementary school those ashes meant that those kids got to leave school during the day (which I never got to do), they got to go to church and get ashes on their foreheads, come back to school and walk around with what I considered a badge of honor.

Don’t worry though, I still got ashes on Ash Wednesday. But since both of my parents were teachers, we always went to the service at night, which meant I never got to show off my big black cross. At the time, not only were those ashes super cool, but they are an outward sign that I was a Christian, and that was the really important part, right? Jesus wants us to spread his words and teachings, and what better way to do that than on Ash Wednesday, when everyone can see me sporting a big black cross on my forehead. I can’t be more obvious than that.

Wait a minute I am seeing a contradiction here. In the gospel reading that is exactly what Jesus warns us not to do. He says it blatantly, “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.” Alright, but does that really refer to what I wanted in elementary school. Let’s look at the piece of scripture in the context of the time. This piece of scripture is a part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. He is speaking to a group of primarily Jewish people about their own individual piety, or how they should each practice their devoutness to God.

The commentaries I read on this passage were quick to point out that Jesus was not being critical of the Jewish ideas of piety. What he was emphasizing was the intention behind performing those acts of piety. When Jesus states, “So when you give alms, do not sound the trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others.” Jesus wants his followers to understand what their intention should be in performing those acts of piety. If someone gives alms for the sake of being praised, that’s not the reason for practicing that piece of piety. Giving alms is supposed to be a way of becoming closer to God, not for being praised and rewarded by our peers.

Why did I want to get those ashes again? What was I centering my idea of getting ashes around?

During the book study on The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, Lewis portrays this same idea in a young painter. While in Heaven, the painter is having a conversation with a Spirit about his pieces of art. The Spirit tries to help the painter remember the reason he started painting. Initially it was to share the pieces of heaven he witnessed around him. And the painter was successful artist because his paintings enabled others to see those glimpses of heaven. But now in Heaven, the painter doesn’t understand that idea. He believes that it was the painting was what people were impressed with and appreciated. Frustrated, the Spirit tries to make the painter understand what his paintings really meant to people, and says, “Light itself was your first love; you loved paint only as a means of telling about light.”

You loved paint only as a means of telling about light.

Lewis perfectly illustrates how and what we should be centering our lives on, the light. Which I took to mean the light of Christ. And this is exactly where I fall or get lost sometimes. The point of getting ashes on my forehead was not for me to boast about the classroom and to show off how pious I was or wasn’t. The point of practicing piety is to grow closer to God, to feel the love God has for us, which enables us to share that love with others.

Lent is not simply a time for giving up candy or Facebook for the sake of practicing obedience. It is an opportunity to strip away those distractions and practice forms of piety that bring us into a closer relationship with God. It is a time for us to reflect on how we share how much God loves us. And this is overwhelming sometimes, at least for me to truly comprehend. God loves us so much that he gave us his only son. Jesus was on Earth to show us how to share God’s love with others. And because of him, we can share that love through whatever means we feel conveys the light and the love God, just like the painter. Perhaps in elementary school, my intention for wearing a black cross on my forehead wasn’t the best way for me to share God’s love with others. Although the silver lining to that story is that God doesn’t condemn me for wanting to do that.

There is a particular line during the service today that reveals this good news, it says, “He pardons and absolves all those who truly repent, and with sincere hearts believe his holy Gospel”. Even though I got wrapped up in sporting a black cross on my forehead, God knows where our hearts are and if we get lost, will guide them back into the light.

When I was in high school, I was able to acolyte pretty much every week. I loved to acolyte; I loved that it gave me a role to play in the service. I loved that I was able to anticipate the needs of the celebrant, and that I knew where everything was in the sacistry. I loved wearing an alb that made me look, if I do say so myself, quite sharp.

I loved that it brought me into a fuller relationship with God as I assisted in the service and contributed to people's worship.

I remember the Sunday that acolyting became an active choice that I made, instead of something that I fell into.

I was carrying the cross for the Gospel procession that day; and the priest was reading the Gospel. I had the words strike me, fully formed: I could do this for the rest of my life. That was the first time that I had ever articulated my call to the priest hood, and from that day onwards, I chose to serve God in that way.

So I spoke to my rector, and fortunately the assistant Bishop of New York was coming to our church in a couple of weeks for confirmation so I spoke to him as well. As I spoke to them about being called to the priesthood, they both gave me very similar advice.

"Do not," they both said, "Major in religion."

They went on to explain that seminary will provide a scholastic background, but If I was not called to the priesthood then I need to do very important things later in life, like buy food, so I can, you know, eat.

So I chose to attend Binghamton University to study chemistry. Binghamton was about two hours from where my family lived, which was he perfect distance. Close enough to go home for the weekend, but too far for my mom to visit without letting me know before hand.

So I attended Binghamton, and planned to take as many religion classes as possible. It turns out that Binghamton doesn't actually offer any Christian courses. Whoops.

They did offer, however, have a robust Judaic Studies department, which was just as good. I took a phenomenal class on Genesis.

This one class, the question was asked "why did God create the world?" The answer is to have a relationship with you. To have a relationship with me, and you and each individual one of us.

They went on to say that that is also why we have free will. We have free will so that we can choose to say yes: without the ability to say no, it means nothing if we say yes.

In Ecclesiasticus the fact that we have a choice is abundantly clear. We can choose, Ecclesiasticus 5 says we have a choice follow the commandments. We have a real option of following the commandments. U can choose to covet my neighbors donkey if I so desired.

We have a choice. We can choose to follow God, and when we follow God's commandments we ate showing God that we are choosing to be in relationship with God. Following God's commandments is a real, outward, and visible sign of our relationship.

We can choose to be in relationship with God. We can choose to follow God's commandments, and when we do, we have every choice in the world.

Be a Light in the Darkness

I wonder if you’re ready to hear a story?

There once was a little soul who knew itself to be the light. This was a new soul and it was anxious for experience.

"I am the light" it said. "I am the light" Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it, could not substitute for the experience of it.

And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand and every soul was magnificent and every soul shone with the brilliance of God's awesome light.

So the little soul was like a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light, of which it was a part, it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and what it really was.

Now it came to pass that this soul yearned and yearned to know itself.

So great was its yearning that one day God said, "Do you know little one, what you must do to satisfy this yearning of yours?"

"Oh, what, God? What? I'll do anything!" the little soul said.

God answered, "You must separate yourself from the rest of us, and then you must call upon yourself the darkness"

"What is the darkness, Lord?" the little soul asked.

"That which you are not" God replied, and the soul understood.

And so this little soul removed itself from the ' All ' even going into another realm. And in this realm the soul had the power to call into its experience all sorts of darkness. And this it did.

Yet in the midst of all the darkness the soul cried, "Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?"

God replied: "Even in your blackest times, I have never forsaken you, but stand by you always, ready to remind you of Who You Really Are;

Ready.

Always ready to call you home.

Therefore be a light in the darkness and curse it not.

And don’t forget who you are in the moment you are encircled by that which you are not. But instead sing praises to the creation even as you seek to change it.

And remember that what you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph. For the experience you create is a statement of Who You Are - and Who You Want to Be."

This story is from a favorite childhood book titled The Little Soul and the Sun. I was reminded of this story as I went over the readings for this week. As I was in search of good news to tell you I found myself drawn to two themes: The presence of God, and light.

First in Isaiah we hear, “You shall call upon the lord, and he will say, “Here I am.”

What a great comfort to hear those words.

Here I am.

These are the words frightened children are relieved to hear from their mothers and fathers.

The words we long to hear from our spouses and partners in times of need or sorrow.

The words we are so grateful to hear from our friends or co-workers when we realize we have have failed to juggle all of the tasks of our busy lives.

Here I am.

However, it is important to note where God says he is or will be. The people are questioning God’s presence and approval. “We fast and you do not see, we humble ourselves, and you do not notice.”

This passage was likely written after the people of God had been exiled and Jerusalem destroyed. The people are in mourning, and seeking justice. They were praying and fasting in hopes of God answering their prayers.

As an A-type personality, overly-responsible eldest child, I know what it means to follow the rules and do the “right” things. Perhaps you too have been caught valuing yourself not based on who you are, but what correct acts you have followed. It’s easy to do. We place value on our performances, forgetting that that is not how God works.

The people are crying out, asking God why he is not giving them justice, and God replies with a question, why are you withholding justice from others?

As with the story of the little soul, we can burn magnificently, but if we are not in darkness, we cannot experience who we are. If we are not being a light to others we will not know the brightness of our flame.

“Share with the hungry. House the homeless. Clothe the naked. Then your light shall break forth like the dawn. You shall call upon the lord, and he will say, “Here I am.””

In our baptismal covenant we state that with God’s help we will seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving our neighbors as ourselves. That we will strive for justice and peace, and that we will respect the dignity of every human being.

If we truly mean what we say, then it is not just God to us saying, “Here I am.”

But it is me to you saying, “Here I am.”

And you to me, “Here I am.”

And us to them, and them to us, "Here we are."

God says, "Here I am", not after the people have followed the rules, or fasted the appropriate amount of time, but after they have sought to help those around them. He is not looking for proper doctrine, but empathetic behavior.

Barbara Brown Taylor in a sermon about the Good Samaritan states, “Right belief means nothing if not followed by right actions."

During my time in Omaha, both at St Andrew’s and with my nonprofits I have seen compassionate people complete wonderful tasks for others, but there is more work to be done.

In Montana we have a saying that goes, “There is no such thing as bad weather, only soft people.”

As we lean down to help our neighbor up. As we comfort those in deep sorrow. As we pray for those in need. As we volunteer to feed the hungry, house the homeless, and friend the friendless we will encounter darkness. We will at times be grasping and crawling to try and get back into our comfort zones.

But we are not soft people.

We are an Easter people, and we with God’s help will call upon us the darkness, if only so we can be a light to others, and that they in turn can be a light to us.

And we must remember we are never alone.

“Then you shall call and the Lord will answer; You shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am.”

Right here.

Right now.

Breathe deeply the breath of God.

Amen.